oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
