scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize