i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
