Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Randomize
