have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
