He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
