Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(678): View more from Georgia

Please, let me fuck your mom

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(502): View more from Kentucky

you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...

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(212): View more from New York

so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.

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(727): View more from Florida

hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan

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(618): View more from Illinois

I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night

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(516): View more from New York

Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.

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