Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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