Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
