glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
