hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
