Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Houston, we have a blender
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm like, not good at living.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
