4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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