and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
