Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
