Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
