if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
