She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
