is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
