dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
This house was built for laser tag.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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