you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
