Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
