Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

Culvers...So Good

(313): View more from Michigan

So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?

(910): View more from North Carolina

succeeding

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(708): View more from Illinois

Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.

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(631): View more from New York

I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.

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(443): View more from Maryland

OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER

(443): View more from Maryland

Still got in the car though

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(904): View more from Florida

so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?

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