At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
