Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You were trust falling into bushes
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize