Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
