you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
