So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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