R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he told me I talked like a deaf person
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
