He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Found the puke drawer
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
