thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
