I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
