Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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