I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
