I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
