i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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