yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
