my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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