So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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