Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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