Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize