it was like his penis was on wheels.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
