the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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