Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Even my vagina gasped.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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