I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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