yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize