i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
