oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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