Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
