my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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