As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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