i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
