Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
