im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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