I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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