we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
