I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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