i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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