I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
COCAINE IS GR8
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
