Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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