she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
