Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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